YOU, MADE MY LIFE PERFECT

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Dear babyShane,

Yesterday started off so good, I thought it'd end off good too, well, it ended off bad. So much for the fortune cookie, total bullshite. I got all sad at woopy seeing the msges, thinking bout you. ]: And what you said hurts, total contrast from how you treated me at our usual spot while we waited for the cab last night. ]: I feel as if I was lied to, by you. I always feel you were the one for me, and that we would end up together, happily ever after. But you went sarcastic and hurt me last night, and those msges, they hurt so fuckin' badly. I don't even know what to say reading those messages. I thought you'd want me as badly as I want you. But if we were to end, it seems as if it won't even matter to you. After all, it's unfortunate I'm your first love. You're just another one of them. It's as if we don't feel the same for each other. Why is it we have to fight and me *** ? I don't know what you want, you want compromising, I try to fuckin' hard to give that. Like whenever you play your computer game, I just listen to you on the phone, your comp and Ian, and keep quiet like a fool. BUT I DON'T MIND OKAY. Anything for you, as long as you appreciate what I'm doing, for you. And I know I've gone against the rules once, that was a mistake, but I'm not expecting you to forget it or something. But you asking me to be with you again, giving me another chance, is like displaying an act of (to me) forgiveness. I hope that now we can just look forward and treasure our time, cherish our moments spent together. Maybe I was a lil too petty last night, but you ignored me twice, raised your voice at me, and ignored me once more. At 1015pm, I told myself if you don't talk to me at all, I'l leave by 1030pm. 1030pm came, you acted as if I wasn't there. I decided to wait a lil while more. 1045pm. And Watfort scored, whatever they're called. I went into the room to tell you. I watched you play your game ever so intensely, tried to gain eye contact so that we could talk or something, but that simply never happened. Disappointed, I walked out. It's as if you had the mentality "I'l play my game first. Anyway, she'l be here till the game ends (12midnight) I'l have plenty of time later" And after you were done with you game, you came to see me, watching the telly alone. And that was when you talked to me. I was trying to hold back pretty badly. And when I ***** so hard at our usual spot, you were there for me. And whatever you told me after that, bout me ****** so bad, yeah, I guess I did *** for that reason. ]: And then when I thought it was all over, you raised another what-seemed-like-a potential threat to you. And when I got angry I blew it all at you, you got frustrated and blew it back at me. So our heated argument left you saying the hurting stuffs to me (which I only read in the morning), which till now, still hurts. And besides all these, you still said you wna be with me. Shane Gan, I still love you much and many but I don't know why you had to do this to me, from last night at your place. As usual, the word "ATTENTION" is still in my spark of hope. I hope you'd love me for me, give me more attention baby.

Love,
me

nibble and french my everything off;
8:25 AM
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